So a week or so ago I had a conversation with a teammate of mine. This gentleman, who shall remain nameless, is about a year into his training and is really a great guy! He expressed his concerns to me stating he just didn't know if he was picking it fast enough or he had doubts that he wasn't BJJ Material. He asked me if I had ever had the feeling that I just wasn't getting it. To be honest, I told him, that it happens all the time. Not just white belt, but almost every belt from white to black. This happens with everyone from time to time, you start feeling sluggish or timing just feels off, but you just keep training and sooner or later things start to return back to normal. I understand that everyone preaches "NO EGO" which is true 100%, but everyone is competitive by nature and we all want to see immediate improvements to our techniques and more "wins" than "losses" on the mat. When I say "wins" and "losses" I'm not talking about beating any of your teammates, but maybe avoiding a submission or recovering guard from side control etc... Wanting that immediate satisfaction of improvements puts way too much pressure on yourself and you wind up overthinking everything instead of reacting and letting our training take over.
Instead of getting frustrated, you should always remember why you started BJJ in the first place. I would guess that 95% of the BJJ community didn't start training BJJ because they had aspirations of being a BJJ World Champion or a UFC World Champion. So just keep in mind why you started training in the first place, which in most cases for everyone it was probably one of the following:
1. Lose some weight and get in better shape
2. relieve some stress
3. learn something new and "cool"
4. meet some new people
5. most importantly HAVE FUN!
If you have covered all the reasons why you have started training in the first place, then keep showing up and you can't lose. You have already made one of the best decisions in your life by stepping on the mat to train on a regular basis, so in my book you are winning. What you really need to understand when starting out in BJJ is never compare yourself to any one else on the mats. We all live different lives with different goals, some people can train all day, everyday and that is great for them, but a lot of us have full time jobs, bills, kids, and many other responsibilities. So we have to train when time permits which is ok as well. Just remember if you make the most out of your training, your abilities, and your time on the mat you will be winning. There is never any shame in tapping in training, its never considered a loss. It's always a learning opportunity, an opportunity for you to learn, move forward, and get better day by day. Your journey will not be like anyone else, so take it session by session. Its a marathon not a sprint. And always remember, BJJ is for EVERYONE!
